


Holy Shit, I am so fucking sorry Kai

by Anonymous



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Underage Rape/Non-con, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In the aftermath of Zane's death, Kai thought things couldn't get any worst.Yeah, he was wrong about this.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39
Collections: anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

After it was over Kai could only lay there, barely aware of his surroundings from the alcohol in his system.

He knew what had happened to him though.

Everything hurt.

He lay slumped on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the walls of the filthy stall.

All he had to do was wait here, once he got his bearings, he could buy a motel room for the night.

Maybe he could drink enough to forget this too.

_________________________________________

A few hours later he stumbled into the lobby of a cheap hotel.

The man at the desk glanced up at him. Kai recognized that face.

"The Red Shogun" he leaned forwards, smiling lecherously, "I see your alone tonight..."

Kai felt sick.

"Shut up Ted, I'm not in the fucking mood" he slurred, Ted backed off, recognizing that this was a bad time to push it, "Just take my money and give me my fucking room"

He fumbled for his wallet, counting out what he needed with shaking hands, Ted counted it out, noticing it wasn't enough, but keeping quiet about it. He'd make up the difference himself.

Without saying anything more, Kai stumbled to his room, collapsing into bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Kai groaned.

His head was pounding, the pale morning light burning his eyes.

FSM, he didn't want to get up.

But he had to fight today.

Groaning again, he dragged himself up, limping to the bathroom.

He was so sore.

Stumbling into the bathroom, he was taken by a wave of illness.

Grasping at the sides of the sink, Kai vomited, his throat burning, he breathed heavily, stumbling back to meet the gaze of his reflection.

His mind drifted to what'd happened last night, and he felt sick in a different way.

He hadn't washed when he'd got to the hotel, he'd been too tired.

His attacker was still inside him.

He felt dirty.

Kai stepped into the shower, turning it on. He didn't care about the temperature.

He wondered what Zane would do if he was still here.

He felt tears surge behind his eyes.

Zane would tell him it wasn't his fault.

Kai slid down the shower wall, his tears growing to violent sobs.


	3. Chapter 3

Another fight.

Another victory.

Another night of drinking.

Kai wasn't sure why he kept doing this. 

Especially after what happened.

He leaned his back against the rough brink, arms around his knees, his most recent partner still laying on the pavement of the ally, panting as he bathed in the afterglow.

Kai barely remembered it.

His partner sat up, leaving without so much as a word. Kai preferred it that way.

Thunder rumbled, and Kai shivered, he was exhausted, but it was cold out, and cement wasn't exactly the softest of beds.

Climbing unsteadily to his feet, he stumbled out of the ally, looking for somewhere to stay.

A car drove past him, then skidded to a stop.

He heard the door open, "Kai!" came a familiar voice.

Sensei Garmadon rushed to his side, he tried to help him stand, but Kai pushed him off "get the fuck off me, old man" he slurred

Garmadon pulled away, giving the teen some space "I've been worried about you"

"I'm fine" Kai said, practically growling, Garmadon knew better then to argue, "do you have a place to stay?" he said instead.

"yeeah..." mumbled Kai, glaring blearily at him, Garmadon sighed, "you think you can get there on your own?"

Kai didn't answer, he looked away, blinking as though he was about to cry, "Please, come with me, you can stay in my monastery tonight"

Kai slumped, "alright" he said, softly, he stumbled to the car and Garmadon opened the back door, helping him in.

Kai climbed in too the backseat, flinching away from the elderly man as he helped him buckle up.

Garmadon closed the door and walked to the drivers seat, keeping an eye on Kai as he drove.

Only a few minutes before he got them to the monastery, Kai threw up on the seat next to him, Garmadon pulled over, grabbing the wipes he kept in the glovebox.

He got out of the car and opened the backdoor, Kai apologized, openly weeping as the old sensei helped him clean up, "it's okay, it was an accident" he said, waiting until Kai calmed down to continue the drive.

Kai got as far as he could on his own, but needed to be helped up the stairs, he took a quick shower, and Garmadon let him have an untaken bed for the night. They'd need to talk in the morning.

But for now, he needed his rest.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Garmadon entered Kai's room, bringing him a light breakfast, the young fire EM groaned, rolling over to face the wall, Garmadon put a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him awake.

Kai sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes, "how are you feeling?" asked Garmadon, keeping his voice low.

"Awful" said Kai, his voice hoarse, Garmadon offered him a glass of water, and he accepted, sipping it cautiously.

Garmadon sat the plate down on the bedstand, and then sat across from the teen, letting him finish his meal before he spoke.

"We need to talk" he said keeping his voice gentle, Kai stiffened, looking away.

"It doesn't have to be now, but we do have to talk"

Kai bit his lip, trying to think through the pounding headache, "I... don't want to"

Garmadon nodded, "I understand"

He stood, walking to the door, but hesitated, "do you need anything?"

"no, just need to rest"

Garmadon nodded, then left, closing the door behind him.

_________________________

He came across Kai again a few hours later, wandering around the monastery, looking lost. He looked relieved to see the old master, but didn't move to get closer, "hey" he muttered.

"Hello, Kai" said Garmadon, smiling reassuringly, "is something the matter?" 

Kai started to speak, shaking his head, but hesitated, "I.... was, trying to leave" he said, slowly, "but I couldn't remember how"

Garmadon sighed, "come with me, lets take a walk"

Kai drew in a breath, "I don't want to trouble you-"

"You aren't, classes are over for today"

"I-" Kai stopped, "alright"

Garmadon nodded, then lead the teen outside.

They walked in silence a few minutes, a quiet tension between them.

"You said we had to talk" said Kai, "let's just get it over with so I can leave"

Garmadon sighed, "I understand why your acting like this, you've lost someone important, and with him, you feel you've lost your purpose"

Kai focused his gaze on the ground away from the elder, trying to hide tears

"But this isn't a healthy way to deal with it, your putting yourself in danger, Kai"

"I know"

Garmadon nodded, "will you let me help?"

Kai shook his head, "no"

Garmadon sighed, "look, Kai, I can't let you keep doing this, if you where an adult it'd be different, but... your only fifteen, if you won't let me help, I'll tell Nya what you've been up to"

Kai's eyes widened, "NO, please, please, don't tell her, don't-don't tell my sister!"

"I won't, but I need you to accept my help"

Kai sighed "what do you want from me."

Garmadon moved to face him "you need to stop drinking, stop going to those underground fighting rings, find somewhere safe to live, you can stay here if you don't have other options, I'll check up on you if you don't, and I'll help you find a therapist"

Kai refused to meet his eye, shaking the hand off his shoulder, "STOP, stop it, stop acting like you care about me"

"I do care about you, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have my son, I wouldn't have my brother, and I wouldn't be me anymore, you've given so much for others, but... I fear there's no one there to catch you when you fall, my brother... he's not a bad person, but he's not good at dealing with these situations, your like a second child to me, and I will not let you die"

Kai backed up, "Bullshit, no one could care about me, I failed the team and because of that Zane is dead, and they all know it, you know it, stop pretending and take what you want, I won't care, no one will fucking care"

The elder of the two could feel his heart sink, "Kai, Zane's death was a tragedy, but you couldn't have done anything, he made a choice, to protect you and everyone else, and that is in no way your fault, I, and everyone else, would be devastated to lose you, too"

Kai laughed, "do you really think that? do you really think any of them would miss me? if I'd been the one to die that day the team would still be together"

"Kai, whatever you think that is not true, people love you, Nya loves you, Jay, Cole, Lloyd, all of them love you, please, I can't change how you feel, but I really do want to help you, will you let me try?"

Kai held on to himself, looking away, "I... I will" his tone was defeated, empty, and Garmadon nodded, "thank you" he gave a comforting smile, "please, let me show you around"


	5. Chapter 5

A few hours later, Garmadon pulled up to the hotel Kai'd directed him too, frowning as he took in the state of the place, "is this it?" he asked, and Kai nodded, "yeah" he got out of the car, and stared at the run down building before him, his heart sinking at the prospect of going back.

He tried not to show it.

"I'll be out quick" Kai smiled, more for his own sake then Garmadon's, "it'll be fine, just... stay here"

Garmadon hadn't said he was worried. Not about this. He didn't know.

Shoulders tense, Kai entered the building.

There was a woman he didn't recognize at the front desk, and he began to relax, maybe this wouldn't be so bad afterall. 

Still, he moved as quick as he could to his room, the less time he spent here the better.

He slipped into his room, picking his clothes from the floor and shoving them into his bag, then grabbed his phone's charger from the bedstand.

He surveyed the room for one last time, his expression blank.

Garmadon had been kind to him, but there was no such thing as a free lunch. Sooner or later he'd want something, and whatever it was, Kai knew he wouldn't enjoy it.

If he left out the window, maybe he could get out.

But... 

Did he want too?

The past couple months, he'd been drowning himself in violence, alcohol, and sex, desperate to escape the darkness that he'd been running from since the death of is parents.

When he had something to fight for, people to turn too, he could hide from it, and he'd thought he could hide forever, but... Zane's death had dragged him back into it's jaws, and he'd done everything to escape, to keep his mind occupied in the waking world, and if he couldn't fall asleep in someone, anyone's, arms, it'd follow him in his dreams.

And he knew he couldn't go on like that.

He really had lost his way. 

Maybe... this really would be what he needed.

No matter what he had to do in return.

Kai flinched, whimpering involuntarily.

He... he couldn't do this.

Gathering his things, he went to the window and slipped out.

He could take care of himself.

_________________________________

Late in the evening, Kai returned to another hotel room to find his phone buzzing.

It was Nya.

He didn't bother picking up.


End file.
